When you are old and alone, will you live with your children for the elderly? Hear what people have to say
Release time：2023-03-24 03:35:07 source：girasolehome.com author：Graduate
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When you are old and alone, will you live with your children for the elderly? Hear what people have to say
- Thanks for reading, and wish you all the best!
- About the author: Huagui Zen, a retired woman who loves life, practices Tai Chi with her left hand and writes with her right hand, enjoying the rest of her life!
When everyone is old, they want to be able to: "Old age can be supported, old age can be depended on, old age can be enjoyed, and old age can be peaceful." I hope that in my old age, I can have children to accompany me and enjoy the happiness of the family. It is the life of the elderly in peace and security. The ideal is full, but the reality is skinny. Good wishes can only stay in thinking, the cruel reality always shatters the old man's wishes again and again. I don't know since when, there seems to be a gap line of defense between the children and the elderly. When people are old, they will become cautious in front of their children, looking at their children's faces and talking, not knowing what their words and actions will make them unhappy. Living with their children, even if the elderly are satisfied with their children, there will be times when they will be rejected. When the elderly really feel exhausted physically and mentally, it is not as good as living on their own.
1. No longer do diligent and capable paid free nanny for children's family.
In the past, I always heard people say that when you are old, you must not take the initiative to live with your children. There will be many unexpected things. If you can't handle them well, it will affect the relationship between parents and children, and even affect the relationship of young couples. relation. Aunt Qin didn't believe it at first. She felt that her daughter was very filial, and she was an only child. She owned all her things. How could she be bad to herself? When Aunt Qin lived with her daughter for a few years, she really realized that she was a paid free nanny for her daughter's family, and she could not get their understanding and care. The daughter and son-in-law were busy with their work, and Aunt Qin was considerate of them, took care of all the housework, and was also responsible for taking the children to school. These household chores are nothing to the competent Aunt Qin. The most troublesome thing for her is the child's piano learning, because every time the teacher asks the parents to record the teacher's lecture video, and then go home to practice according to the video, and then record the video and send it to the teacher to check. Aunt Qin doesn't know much about the use of this smartphone, and the teacher's teaching videos recorded are always incomplete. Sometimes, if they haven't been recorded yet, her daughter will blame Aunt Qin for not paying attention. She usually watches videos on her mobile phone and plays well. Aunt Qin thinks that she is very tired every day when she cooks, packs, and picks up the housework. Her daughter still doesn't know how to be grateful. She still feels aggrieved when she talks about herself like this. Looking at the lives of the old sisters and her own life, she decides to Go home by yourself. The daughter and son-in-law disagreed, and Aunt Qin ignored them and went back to her hometown by herself. I cleaned up the house, got together with my old sisters, went to the square for boxing, took a walk, went home and read books, listened to music, and watched TV dramas. I lived a very happy life, and I never wanted to go there again. My daughter is a paid nanny.2. Uncle Zhang said, don't give all your money to your children, you should keep more pension money, go back to your own home, and live without looking at anyone's face.
Uncle Zhang and his wife work in the county, and the pension is not much enough to spend. The only child is working in the city and has a family, so life is relatively tight. He has to pay the mortgage and car loan, and has a child to support. . Uncle Zhang's house is going to be demolished. Since he only has his wife's hukou, there is not much to be divided. They don't want to go back and live there, so they all gave a one-time payment of more than ten thousand yuan. Uncle Zhang thought about his son's stressful life, or repay his son's mortgage, but his wife disagreed. She said, we can help him to repay more every month, which can also help his son reduce the pressure, so we can't give him all at once. . Uncle Zhang and his wife will transfer 2,000 yuan to their son every month, and the son and daughter-in-law are very happy. In this way, when Uncle Zhang's wife passed away, Uncle Zhang couldn't cook or clean up the house, so his son took him to live with him in the city. The first few months were okay, but later, my daughter-in-law's face became colder and colder. One day, Uncle Zhang heard his son and daughter-in-law arguing quietly in the room. The daughter-in-law said that your father's pension is not enough for him to buy it himself. What about medicine? Nothing can help us, it's really a drag on people, if you let your dad sell the house in the county and settle the mortgage for us, our life will be better. The more Uncle Zhang listened, the more he felt that his wife had foresight and left him some money. Although he had a small pension, it was enough to live alone. If he went back to the county and met someone who was compatible with him, it would be good to find someone to live with him. Pissed off here. Uncle Zhang said that he has been living for 2 years now, and he has not met anyone who agrees with him. He is very comfortable alone. I will never give them money again.3. Sister Mei said that even if she lived as an "invisible person" in her children's house, she would be disliked, seek her own happiness, and live her old age in peace.
When Sister Mei's wife was there, she was a talker, very talkative and warm-hearted. But since I lived with my son, I have no worries about life, and I don't need to worry about food and clothing, but I am not as happy as before, and I always feel that the air in my son's house is too depressing. My son treats Sister Mei very well, but his daughter-in-law is very strong, and he speaks well at home. Sister Mei helps with the children and does housework. He never says thank you, and always tells how other people's mother-in-law does it. Less, do less. Sometimes sister Mei thinks that every day is a big fish and meat, so she will make some fresh vegetables or something, and her daughter-in-law will use the child's growing body as an excuse to talk about sister Mei. This family has no voice. Later, Sister Mei also figured it out, "People are under the eaves, how can they not bow their heads." After two years of forbearance, it is true that her daughter-in-law said less unpleasant things, but Sister Mei was worried that she had been holding back like this, and her body would not feel good. Trouble will occur. When there was nothing, Sister Mei went for a walk and dance in the park. She met an old man who was a few years older than her. After spending a few months together, they got together. Sister Mei said that although she didn't know how far she could go this way, she liked the current life, she could laugh happily, and she didn't have to hold back any more, she no longer wanted to live with her son.Conclusion:
The idea of "raising children to prevent old age" is really outdated. If the elderly can take care of themselves, it is better to live their own lives in their own homes. Now there is a "three-year-old generation gap", two Generations have many differences, thinking, life, habits, diet, communication, concepts, etc., there are great differences. Life is trivial and complicated. Even if you live carefully at your children's home, you may not be grateful for helping them; you may not always have a smile if you try to do your best. Instead of living with children, there will be conflicts, quarrels, and finally breaking up, it is better to worry less about the children and live on your own. Children have time to come back to see you, the distance between "far and near" is also very good, why bother to make yourself uncomfortable for the rest of your life? The elderly must remember not to be a free paid nanny in their children's home, leave more pension money for themselves, do not have to be an "invisible person" in their children's home, have no right to speak, feel more aggrieved, and return to their own home to live their own happiness elderly life. END- Last：Tongtong's mother's original intention of having to buy a house (1)
- Next：Want to have a partner! TVB holds Xiaohua and admits that she is in a hurry to have a child, and if there is a suitable partner, she does not mind flash marriage
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